Stage IV breast cancer was certainly not part of my grand plan. In having this advanced cancer, the learning is on! I am in a true fight for my life. I have a lot to give and so much that I want to do. I want my life and I know that I have the ability to heal. I have to learn how to re-establish health and balance in my body. At this point, despite the prognosis, there are so many possibilities.
The past months have been indescribable. In fact, I have struggled to write and stumbled in finding words. There have been crazy highs and crushing lows. Following my dream wedding, my diagnosis felt like the earth gave way beneath my feet. It was such a shock. For the first time, in such a long time, I had felt confident and clear about my future, ready to work hard, start a family and build the life that I had always dreamed of.
Everything happened so quickly! I struggled to finish a final semester of graduate school while being dragged through a crash course in cancer. Not only did I have a mastectomy, removing my right breast, and lymph node dissection, I also had a purple port placed into my chest. I call this my Barbie port, wondering why it has to be purple, when it lies unseen beneath my skin. This allows the delivery of chemotherapy drugs to go directly into my heart. All this, before I learned that the cancer had metastasized.
